So you’ve got a great girl and you wanna make sure you know how to keep her. Or maybe you’ve lost her and want to know how to win her back, keep her interested, and deserve her long-term. Good on you!
As a female relationship expert, I spend so much of my time helping guys fix their breakups and win back the girl that they love. Guess what? That’s not the whole story. A healthy relationship is one in which both partners strive to deserve each other every. single. day.
Yep, you heard me.
So you’ve come to the right place. Not only can I help you win back your dream woman, I can also help you keep that vivacious vixen in love with you. In this article I’ll be doing so by letting you in on seven common complaints women make about the men they lose interest in. Take a look at “How to Seduce an Ex (or any girl actually…)” for more ways to keep your gal happy!
Ready? Let’s go!
Ambition is different for everyone, but we all deserve a partner whose values and ambitions align with ours. This means that if a woman feels that her guy is less ambitious than she is, she’s likely to be concerned and eventually lose interest. Let’s be clear: this is the 21st century. Women are perfectly capable of being the bread winners, and many are happy to play that role. The point is that ambitions should be shared. You don’t each have to put in $10,000 to make it happen, but you both have to do the work to get there. If you don’t share the same level of ambition as your partner, you are likely to disappoint them, and women are pretty good at identifying when this is a possibility.
Like all things, commitment means different things to different people, but the general evolution of a committed relationship might look something like the following: becoming exclusive; planning a trip together; swapping keys; moving in together; getting a pet together; getting engaged; getting married; and so on. If as a partner you indicate alarm or reluctance every time the suggestion of commitment comes up, you are setting off very loud alarm bells in her head. The earlier on in the relationship your aversion to commitment is displayed, the more
concerned she is likely to be. After all, if you freak out about her leaving a toothbrush at your place, why would she bother to stick around and try to convince you of every little relationship baby step? Boring! A word to the wise: commitment is a wonderful thing when it’s mutually desired, and when done with the right person is arguably the most rewarding and profound thing two people can do together. So if you care for her and you want to be with her, don’t sweat commitment.
OMG. Have you ever dated someone who’s unable to express their feelings? Picture this: you’ve been invited to a friend’s party and, after an initially cool response, your partner has agreed to go with you. The day of the party comes and your partner has been growing steadily more sullen and moody all day. You’ve asked several times if anything’s wrong, but with no response. Finally, five minutes before you’re supposed to leave, your other half explodes in an angry tirade about how they never wanted to go to the party in the first place and they’re mad at you for making them go. Yeesh. This is a classical failure on their part to communicate: you haven’t made them do anything… they’re a grown ass adult, after all! But in an attempt to keep from hurting your feelings they agreed instead of telling you “no”, and their resentment has been building ever since. This is a typical case of poor communication: if they’d just been honest with you to begin with, or even told you between then and now that actually, they don’t really like that kind of party and they’d prefer not to go, it would have all gone much more smoothly and respectfully than this last minute sh*t show. In summary: don’t be a bad communicator. Say what’s on your mind in a respectful way. It will always work better than the alternative.
When you’re in a relationship with someone, you inevitably spend a lot of time together. There are all kinds of ways to hangout, but guess what? Lying on the couch and watching movies is only fun if it’s an occasional experience. For some reasons a lot of people, when they enter into a relationship, seem to mellow out… a lot. Their levels of enthusiasm and excitement seem to dwindle, and the relationship can become stale. Don’t get me wrong: there’s a lot to be said for the coziness of coupledom. But it’s a fact that the happiest couples are those who share a sense of adventure–who are playful and know how to have fun with each other. Keeping a long-term relationship fresh is no easy task. Undertaking new challenges together and being spontaneous goes a long way to keep things interesting–and romantic!
Surprise, surprise, grooming matters. It’s not just men who value the aesthetic properties of a mate. But it goes much deeper than this. A woman wants a man who can take care of himself. That means he has good grooming and personal hygiene, can keep the kitchen clean when he cooks, maintains a stocked clean-underwear drawer, eats well and has a social life. In other words, women want a man who has his sh*t together; not an overgrown child to look after. Those days are gone, dudes.
Just as avoiding commitment is a major turn-off, so too is being über keen. Calling and texting numerous times a day without response, being gushy with compliments and needy about how much time she spends with you will most likely have her running for the hills. I’m sorry if you’re now asking yourself, “Wait, I have to be interested but not too interested; caring but not too caring…, etc.” but think of it this way: you know that girl you dated who texted you six times in a row while you were at work and got upset with you for not responding, only to forgive you right away because she just wanted you around? She’s an example of the kind of date very few people, men or women, feel comfortable pursuing. Every person should have the independence (and self-respect) to have their own lives and just not be desperate, basically. So just as you would be turned off by an immediately super-keen date, she will be too.
I’m not even going to get into this too much, because duh. Suffice it to say: women want a man they can trust. Why on earth would anyone decide to make a life and have a family with someone they know is dishonest with them? There’s no healthy scenario in which that happens. So do yourself and your future partners a favour and be honest, man. If you’re not, you’re just wasting everyone’s precious time.
Well, how’d you do? Are you guilty of any of these relationship “crimes”?! If so, pay attention! Being a better partner is great for your other half, of course, but guess what? It’s even better for you. There’s nothing so good for self-esteem and peace of mind than being a good person and being kind and loving and respectful to the person you most care about. Trust me. You deserve it!