Breakups are rough. No matter how ready you may feel you are to leave a relationship, the emotional toll such a separation takes on your life is inescapable for most people. It’s a confusing and vulnerable time. You’ve lost a major support system, a way of life, and maybe even your best friend in the process. For some, a breakup can completely change their life.
Because of the strain a breakup puts on your emotional and practical stability, it’s important to do what you can to make the pain as manageable and as short-lived as possible. I want to share with you three very different things you can do to help you.
Remove them from your life completely
The first thing you should do when you know for certain that your relationship is over is to cut them out of your life. I know this seems harsh, and in many ways it is, but however sad you may feel about it this is the only way to prevent further pain from entering your life. If you don’t have their number on your phone, you can’t feel tempted to text or call them drunk in the middle of the night; if you’re not friends on Facebook, you won’t see them having fun and looking gorgeous when you’re feeling sad and vulnerable; if you don’t see them, you can avoid many of the instances that will make you feel sad and miss them. In other words, while out of sight might not mean completely out of mind, it will be a damn sight easier to get through your days and move on with your life if you’re not being constantly reminded of her and how beautiful/awesome she is. For more on how to implement what’s known in the biz as the No Contact Rule, take a look at my article “Does No Contact Work to Get Your Ex Girlfriend Back?“–FYI: It does, so research that shiz.
Reach out to loved ones
One of the most healing things for any person in emotional (or even physical) pain is to be with friends and family. These are the people you love and who make you feel good. What’s more, they love you. They want you to be happy and they’ll likely do all kinds of wonderful things to help you feel better! There’s no better balm for the heart not any better cure for loneliness that a hug from your mum or a day spent laughing with your mates. So don’t isolate yourself. Don’t shut yourself away for days at a time watching Netflix in a weepy haze. Reach out and let the people who love you know that you need their support and their company. Then let the happier times roll!
Pursue new experiences
What have you always wanted to do that you haven’t yet got around to? Have you been saving for a trip to Guatemala that you keep putting off? Have you always wanted to learn Mandarin? Do you love painting but didn’t have the space to do it in your shared apartment? Do you love cats but your ex was allergic so you weren’t able to get one? Go to Guatemala! Learn Mandarin! Set up your easel! Get a cat! Carpe diem! You’re single now, and while you may feel like you have more worries, remember that they will pass, and what you truly do have is complete freedom. You can do whatever you want, whenever you want, with whomever you want. So start thinking about the things you love to do and spend your time doing them! It will make you happier and will also open you up to so many new and wonderful opportunities, I promise. Oh, and there’s no harm in pursuing other women, right? Read “Dumped? How to Find a Rebound Girl” for some life-changing seduction tips and dating advice. It’ll change your life, I promise!
Well, there you have it. Sound doable? That’s because it is, sugar! Heartache’s a terrible thing, but like all troubles, this too shall pass. And what they don’t tell you is that you’ll be a wiser, more sensitive and emotionally intelligent person for it.
Good luck out there!