Is My Ex-Girlfriend Still Attracted to Me?

There are so many reasons for a couple to break up (see “7 Reasons Why Women Lose Interest in Men“). Among the many, one partner losing attraction for the other is but a small fraction. This means that if your girlfriend has recently broken up with you, there’s a strong chance she’s still attracted to you.

This is good news. Mostly because attraction works on an animalistic level: even if we know better than to hook up with someone, for instance, if we’re attracted to them we’re far more likely to seek them out and pick up where we left off. This can lead to many of us making bad choices, of course, but it also provides exes with an opportunity to rebuild bridges and get their relationship back on track.

So, is your ex-girlfriend still attracted to you?

If you can say “yes” to any of the following indications, the likelihood is that your ex is still very much attracted to you. The more of these statements you can agree with, the more your ex is attempting to demonstrate that she’s still into you – so pay attention and get your head in the game!

She finds ways to touch you

If, when you’re in each others’ company, she finds ways to touch you (whether on the hand, arm, knee or anywhere, really), then she’s still attracted to you. Touch is a huge giveaway when it comes to displaying attraction; by touching you she’s subliminally telling you she wants to touch you more (and likely in other places), while also attempting to reassert some degree of ownership over your time and attention.

She always seems to be leaning toward you

Body language speaks volumes if you know what to look for. One of the major clues of attraction is body orientation. When we like someone, we remain instinctively “open” to them. We do this in many ways, such as by facing our body towards them, always hearing what they say even in a large group, and leaning into them so as to be physically closer to them. If she’s allowing the space between you to be intimately close, it’s because she wants to be intimately close to you. Duh!

She makes lots of eye contact

Eye contact is not something one is generous with when they’re angry, unimpressed, or undesiring of someone. Making eye contact with someone illustrates respect and equality at the very least. The more intimately two people know each other, the more eye contact is also a sign of affection and – if you’re broken up but your ex is throwing you mad amounts of eye contact– serious attraction. So return the eye contact, smile wide, and feel free to be flirty and playful.

She plays with her hair

This is another instance of body language giving the game away. Women play with their hair when they’re feeling playful and aroused. Don’t ask me why – we often don’t even know we’re doing it – but we do. Not only does it draw attention to our face, neck, and luscious locks, but it also has most guys fantasizing about running their own hands through it in a more intimate context… so long story short: if she’s playing with her hair, she’s probably thinking of you doing the same.

She laughs at your jokes

Even if you’re hilariously funny your ex is unlikely to respond positively to your jokes unless she’s forgiven you for whatever went down between you. Truly. You’d be surprised how good women are at poker face when they’re pissed at a guy. So if she’s laughing at your jokes, it’s either because she’s over you or into you. And you can use this checklist to figure it out!

She finds excuses to contact you

There are a few genuinely good reasons why an ex might text you after a breakup: you share custody of a pet or child; it’s your birthday; you’ve suffered a bereavement… that’s about it. If she’s contacting you for any other reason that’s not a) super relevant to you/  a conversation you had recently and b) useful in some way, then chances are she’s not contacting you for the purpose she’s claiming. She’s into you and she’s trying to engineer a way to see /speak to /sex you.

She’s attentive or supportive

Does she care about how you’re doing and want to be there when you’re feeling down? Yes? Why? Sure, she could simply have platonic feelings of love for you and want to make sure you’re holding up, and this is an important possibility to bear in mind. But what if your breakup was rocky? What if you really upset her, or she told you she was moving away and couldn’t be in a long distance relationship? If you’re broken up but she’s still solicitous of your well being and offering you her emotional support, there’s a very good chance it’s because she’s still into you.

Well, how did you score?! If you got 3/7 or more and still have feelings for your ex-girlfriend then I strongly recommend you start formulating a plan to win that girl back, ‘cos she’s probably waiting for you to do so. Take a look at my oh-so-popular article “How to Seduce an Ex” for tips on where to go from here. And if you scored any at all, then be vigilant my friend: you might just be missing the signs.

Love,
Emily xo